See all those grownups in here, our happy new baby? See the way they coo over their newborns, and their eyes light up with pride? We know, baby, that you can't express it, yet, but that you feel that same way about us. Look how those people love their babies so much that they reach down to them and stretch out their hands! Can you reach up to us, baby? Reach! Reach! Oh, come now, you're not even trying! Reach up. That's it! Reach up and show mommy and daddy how much you love us. There we go! Oh. Is that it? That's as high as you can reach? For mommy and daddy whom we know you just love, love, love? Well, okay. Hm. To be perfectly honest -- and all the experts say you must be, I'm sure -- we thought you could reach a little higher, that your love for us would at least be strong enough to reach all the way up. We expected a little more from you. But, hey, we're sure that's just more or less normal for your stage of development.

Oh, baby, you're going to make our house a home! You'll bring such happiness to the place; everyone loves a baby in the house. But you mustn't play with Mommy's collection of first editions or Daddy's old magazines. In fact, it's probably best if you stay out of the library in general. And avoid the basement, too, won't you? There's a lot of expensive exercise equipment, and old valuables we inherited from Mother-in-law. You also probably shouldn't spend too much time in Mommy and Daddy's bedroom. We just wouldn't want you there all that much. It's not really entirely appropriate, is all. But you can spend as much time as you want playing in your bedroom and in the kitchen! Oh, and of course you can use the back porch (if you go to the front of the house, be careful of the plants and the pottery) and the yard and the driveway. When you get a little older, of course, you'll be expected to clean and maintain these areas; do the dishes and some floor waxing, rake the lawn, shovel the drive...

But what are we getting into all that now for? You're just a baby! A beautiful, loving, worshipful baby! Oh, baby, you're going to save this marriage, I just know it.

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