Criticism. Essay. Fiction. Science. Weather.
week:
1The disadvantages of having a hole in your
foot, a cat named Buckley, and falling in love. 2Come eat it.
Or don't. 3Wine, Shoulder, Bolt, Socket. 4Mothbombs 5On the road with your only soul. 6One woman's trash is another woman's treasure 7Aliens! Right here in America! 8It's not as crazy as it sounds
or, music is as music does 91) Sign.
2) Hope for the best. 10A friendship in a bottle. 11A five-year-old tries his hand at action adventure. 12Will the circle be unbroken. 1390ways' first Quaterly Review rages on:
2 samples of Fiction. 14Muscles and fat.
A thin layer of sweat. 15Fiction goes serial.
Part 1 has sex and drugs.
You know you want to stay tuned. 16Our fiction serial concludes to cure your
vertigo from last week's cliff-hanger. 17An iced-out 21-speed sensation: The Moves are
all up on your handlebars. 18We're all in this together.
Except those bastards in administration. 19Jilted, laughed at,
and in the air. 20Swirling and swirling... 21You can't make yourself like them, but you have to pretend because they are your family. 22How well do jewel cases retain odor?
About as well as you stink. 23It's black and white. It's old world.
It's photo time. 24Piggy calls, wanting to sell you insurance.
This is what's on the other end of the line. 25A long pause, then, 26Fiction's Second Qaurterly Review
can speak Italian. 27It's only bread, after all. 28It's job search time at 90ways. 29George W. Bush's resting heart rate and a bum in a green sweater. 30Antique weaponry and teenage angst.
Together at last. 31One-hundred-fifty-three syllables
of October fun. 32there is only
self 33She's cold to the touch.
Cold and pebbly. 34Gut-wrenching love.
And wallabies. 35Building a habit out of ivies and orange flowers. 36A 90ways exclusive sneak peak at the
new and groundbreaking Alphabet Book. 37Type it with one hand and
see what happens 38A face any susbsitence farmer could love. 39The Quarterly Review: read it again for the third time. 40For every task, someone is the best.
Sometimes that's impressive. 41I didn't get a computer;
I moved to Indiana. 42The deepest of mistreatments, in three. 4390ways has new concerns about identity theft. Lock up the children and your sense of self. 44time. eyes. deep sighs. 45I know there's a place 4690 stars are born. 47I had to ask. 48It's about sex.
But isn't that always the way with classical music? 49The epistolary form in the 21st century.
Complete with neuroses and unpunctuation. 50There is no end to the party. 51Rockin to the sweet sounds of prepared food. 52Of or pertaining to. 53Including spaces, this blurb is 90 characters. Ways, words, characters. It is a leitmotif. 54Minnesota. Miami. Poetry in 90ways' Fiction.
It's the best of all worlds. 55It lives and breathes and is hungry for carnival food. 56Manhandled, womanclutched, or otherwise attended. 57The curtain is being pulled back... 58Up in the Fiction house! It's a bird. It's a plane.
It's an illustralogue! 59The hat, in all honesty, is a private matter. 60Putting up with all the doth. 6190words strike terror into the hearts of the longwinded. 62Return of the illustralogue! 63Take one down, pass it around,
blow your nose. 64All any of us want is a little approval and some light stalking. 65The First Quarterly Review wants
you to meet its little friend. 66From our servers to your ear buds!
It's misguided enthusiasm, in podcast form! 67Questions for the man himself.
Plus, the podcast adventure continues. 68No one would ever use Starbucks
to define their identity. Right... 69Don't you remember the rose clipped under my windshield wiper like a butterfly under a pin? 70Oh, it's nothing.
Oh, it's life-threatening disease. 71It's not you. It's me.
And my Eurasian captors.
72Root, root, root for the brisk
sale of anything possible. 73Look within the very bowels of the soul.
Or at least your mother. 74We're not strangers any more. 75He knows of what he speaks. 76I find that often times I'm quite
mature enough to enjoy a few beverages. 77He is licking me.
I don't like it one bit. 78Our favorite stuff is coming 'round the mountain, again. 79A wooden-back brush and a homemade bowl of oatmeal. 80A man's home is his... 81Fack to the Buture. 82This dude pulled back on his nose
and mucus and unleashed a city. 83The polls are in. 93% of respondents do not approve of the monkeybone lodged in their lower lip 84Like a thirsty man in the desert 85Taxpayer dollars wasted on broken egg. News at eleven. 86She loves her red octopus.
She will chew it to death. 87Bubbling, gurgling, fighting a moment to stay afloat. 88Molting our pasts into the air... 89The Return of 90 Words 90It comes but once a... ever. 91Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, the end of the Fiscal Quarter. 92The 540 word circle is now unbroken. 93An emptying out of the animus, perceived as tranquility
94All roads lead to South Dakota. Or at least the I-90 does, anyway. 95He laid down his whittling knife and he and his brother took up arms in rage. 96Drinking manhattans made with a good bourbon, and strong. 97Living white and pudgy, I never expected much for myself. Now, I could tell that was true. 98A few gestural lines towards the thought of death. 99Rest in peace.
I know I will. 100And then we played baseball and then we played army and then we were best friends. 101We torn holes in sheets and became ghosts for each other's pleasures. 102I looked at the pictures of you, twenty years old,
sometimes skinny and sometimes your face a soft moon.
103Fingers clutching little trinkets of the day... 104All roads lead to South Dakota. Or at least the I-90 does, anyway. 105Everywhere signs of an interstice arriving. 106What you see and what you believe are two different things. 107It was as if a million literary ghosts poured from its pages, moaning to be set free. 108So what if too many times we have been here, both
lost in our machinations...
A Very Good Teacher
Judson Merrill
The woman on stage was wide for a Chinese woman. And for a young woman. I did not expect such width from a sixteen-year-old.
Her fingers arched back in a frighteningly dramatic curve, as if that last knuckle, the one that gave way to palm, had a 360 degree hinge. As if she could stand up, rest her fingertips on the back of the piano and bend until her nails touched the backs of her hands.
She played the piano just as I imagined I would. Really biting off the beginning and end of each piece, each length of playing. She leaned forward to begin and sent her hands bouncing off the keys and away to end. The sort of flourishes with which I would decorate my own piano playing if I had any idea what I was doing at a piano.
She was very, very good, which I found very, very attractive.
I was attending the concert with a friend and his grandmother, Bea, and, as I don't like to have any sexual thoughts when in the company of old people, I had dutifully masturbated before leaving the house. So the previous woman I had watched work, before arriving at the concert hall, was a comically-endowed brunette who was also very, very good at what she did; that being getting fucked and describing it in a breath-caught, shriek-punctuated, orgasmic narrative. I had chosen her video to download for these very vocal talents. But I noticed how comical her endowment, how ridiculous her narration, as soon as I came. Hardly any way to show my thanks. I listen to this woman pant and watch her perfectly tanned breasts sway with some non-descript man's gyrating, I get off, and then instantly think less of her. Scoff at the terrible production design within which she works. Mutter nasty things about her producer's inability to afford foley. And whose fault might that be? I was the one downloading the damn thing for free.
Then the 16-year-old pianist. I was listening to her work too and, not surprisingly, an entirely different part of me was aroused. I had a thing for accomplished woman instrumentalists but it was different than my thing for moaning porn stars. Even if, somehow, the pianist had helped me come, even if, through some bizarre parody of reality, I somehow bedded the 16-year-old pianist, I would never laugh at her, never scoff at her piano playing. She could always restore my admiration by sitting at her Steinway and playing very, very well.
The Chinese pianist was replaced in the second set by her teacher, that being the conceit of the series. He was a dour old man who lashed the keys with intensity but didn't punctuate his playing in that satisfying manner his pupil had used to lure me in. I wished she were back. I even missed her teal dress amidst the sea of black. Someone should add a dash of color. It made the experience more alive. If everyone was being unobtrusive, there was so little to look at that it became distracting. Bones must be thrown to the other senses during a concert or they will complain and make it difficult to pay full auditory attention.
Afterwards the three of us sat outside a little café and had coffee and dessert. I got a lemon bar.
"That 16-year-old can play the piano," I offered heartily. I was rewarded with a miniature chorus of astonishment.
"Well," Bea cooed in her slightly southern accent. "Well, let me tell you a story."
I don't think anyone had ever stopped Bea from telling a story in her life.
"Her teacher -- that dark, little man who played second -- he's very famous, of course. Despite that foolish ovation he was given this evening, however, he is much slower than he used to be."
My friend and I nodded. We had preferred the young, Chinese woman.
"Now he teaches. She's his newest pupil but he's had six or seven. Mostly very successful. The second one, his second pupil, you have both heard of. Very talented young woman. Your age now. Or older. Still a child to me, of course.
"She achieved, achieved at such a high level, at such a young age, that she became bored quickly. She could play better than her peers without trying. She lacked a competitive fire. The kind of fire your mother has always had, dear."
Bea patted my friend's hand.
"So her parents -- in a panic, an absolute panic, after two years of decline in their daughter's playing -- they contacted this man, the man we saw tonight, and asked him to consider their daughter.
"Well, he saw that she was talented."
Here we all paused to nibble at our snacks. I caught myself lifting my plate and taking a terribly dainty bite. I realized, too, that my legs, during the concert, had been crossed in that feminine way that I am supposed to avoid if ever I get on a major television talk show. Ankle on knee is the manly way to cross one's legs. None of this thigh on thigh horseshit.
I put down my plate, slouched in my chair and let my legs drop open under the table.
"He saw that she was talented, but also that she wasn't angry enough. He thought she wasn't angry enough. Piano playing had come too easy to her and she needed more of an ax to grind. So he took her on as his pupil.
"And he tried many things to get her angry and playing to her potential again. You saw the man. He's a brutish thing and he was not kind. But she did not care, this young woman, she did not care at all.
"After several months of this, he finally confronted her in her hotel suite. They were on the road for a recital. He confronted her. She sulked and ignored him and finally, in the hotel room, he forced himself on her."
"Grandma!" my friend said.
"In the hotel room," Bea said, as if that was somehow the worst part.
"Grandma, where did you hear that?"
"It's commonly known."
"It's commonly known?"
"Among those who follow the world of concert pianists, it is commonly known."
My friend flopped his hands on the table and picked up his fork to stab at his key lime pie.
"However, dears, this is hardly the end of the story. That beastly little man was right. That girl grew up that night and she grew up angry. She played with real fire -- angry, angry fire and she is still very well known and very well respected."
"The rape worked? You're saying the rape worked?"
"She's very well-respected."
"And he's had more pupils since?" I asked and then regretted using the word pupil.
"Four or five more. But until recently, until he took on the young woman you boys were so smitten with tonight, only men."
"Maybe she knew enough not to believe such an outlandish story."
"Not at all. Not at all. Everyone knows it. I'm not gossiping dear, this is commonly known. Established history. I don't condone it just because I'm telling you. Although there are those that say if he hadn't forced himself on her the world would have been robbed of a very bright talent."
"Grandma!"
"His new pupil, the young Oriental we saw tonight, she knew the story and when he approached her to ask her to study under him she was very wary. He had a reputation after all. A great teacher but also an abuser of women."
"Yes, we remember," my friend said and furrowed his brow at me.
"She asked him many different ways about this, without ever truly asking him. The Chinese are, of course, much too discrete to ask about something like that directly.
"Finally, he turns to her and says, 'You're worried about the things you've heard about me. With my last female student.'
"She admits she is.
"He tells here, 'Listen, that's the last thing you need. You play out of control. You're all passion and energy. To become a great pianist you need control. It would be a grave mistake to handle you as I handled that other girl. A grave mistake.'"
"Wow."
"She needed discipline."
"She seemed disciplined to me," I offered.
"Well, he's a great teacher," Bea said. "Although, as I said, his playing has become a bit slow. A step slow."
"She sounded disciplined to me," I offered again, for agreement and emphasis. "Sounded very good." I picked up my plate and nibbled at my bar.