Criticism. Essay. Fiction. Science. Weather.
week:
1As the maps to our official past, monuments and memorials literally set our history in stone. 2Civil War Re-enactments and the Bradley Fighting Vehicles that Love Them. 3One whatever's perspective on
American/Iranian relations 4Tin soldiers and Nixon's coming - Or -
Delaware is the geographical center of Ohio 5This is not about Terri Schiavo.
We promise. 6Stick it to the Gideons. 7California increases its prison population six-fold and strikes a blow for the union man. 8It's not you; it's me... 9What's the Christian Coalition going to do with this one? 10Corporate nonprofit? Isn't that an oxymoron? Jed Emerson doesn't think so. And neither should you. 11You heard it here first:
Michael Jackson, not guilty! 12What's good for GM is good for GM. 13The Quaterly Review continues...
...with 2 Essays from the archives. 14What's that smell?
Saying no to the post-expiration date Nation-State. 15An antidote to the All-Star Break: Life before
the homerun call was on steroids. 16An antidote to the All Star Break: Life before
the homerun call was on steroids (cont.). 17Riding the city at night with a radio. 18Why shampoo really is the key to global economic development. 19Goat meat and digital watches: how to lay down the law without writing down the rules 20The control button is right down there. Next to the Z button. 21Clear Channels and
Herfindahl-Hirschman Indices 22Le Corbusier, meet Dr. Livingstone: using blank spots on the map to plan urban development. 23Sunk before it started raining: how the Army Corps of Engineers dammed Louisiana. 24The Carceral Continuum: I got my diploma from a school called Rikers, knowhatimsayin? 25Hey Betty and Veronica, let's find out
who wrote the Book of Love. 26The quarterly reviews go marching two by two, hurrah! hurrah! 27It's a mosque; it's a church; it's ... a museum! 28We're back for seconds, and it's not even Thanksgiving yet. 29The only thing standing between you and free Internet is the Titanic. 30Capitalism: the worst economic system,
except all the others. 31All the cool kids are doing it... 32In America you get food to eat; won't have to run through the jungle and scuff up your feet. 33Q-Tip never wanted Tommy Hilfiger
to be his friend. 34I am what I am not, even if it's only because
that's what people think I am. 35From Good ... to Great! 36Daylight makes these cities shrink. 37¡AGUANTALA! 38A chicken in every pot and
a deed to every garage. 39Celebrate the seasons with the Quarterly Review! 40The jig is up, Mr. Nobel. 41Will the circle be unbroken?
By and by, Lord, by and by. 42There's nothing to figure out, General Turgidson. This man is obviously a psychotic. 43It's the Buddhists and the Communists
in a fight to the death. 44Yes, this Essay is about
Punky Brewster. 45This article isn't just about being a bad friend. 46Something has gone wrong with the bathmat. 47It's more of a suspended state of poverty. 48Politics has always been complicated, I guess. 49The Cuyahoga Daily Mirror, this ain't. 50If Air America couldn't do it
maybe Al Jazeera can. 51Bzz, Bzz. Who's there? A culture of transparency. 52RVs (but no propane) in the R.V. 53Adding ads ad nauseum. 54Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains: Peru's election goes to a runoff. 55The first kind is unpleasant and ill paid;
the second is pleasant and highly paid. 56Prison continues, on those who are entrusted to it, a work begun elsewhere... 57If versimilitude can be lost, then it must exist. But how can it exist in a world of irreconcilable inconsistencies? 58Certain young, beautiful, economically powerful women please take note. 59Bugs. On drugs. 60Progress. Genuine progress. 61Electricity and music. 62Garcia in; Chavez out. 63I thought globalization was
something we did to them. 64Twenty-three days, 189 bicyles.
Could there be anything better? 65The First Quarterly Review:
Taste it again for the first time. 66An undersized, ill-dribbling twenty-something
feeling jealous. 67Wal*Mart goes organic. Right. 68Stop us before we pollute again. 69Yes, they actually measure that. 70Even the Amish guys are cheating?
Not so fast... 71What Jeffrey Sachs would proclaim if he spent all day sitting on his tuchus. 72Blueberry or coconut infusion? That'll be extra. 73Point being: ride your bike. 74If it's still broke, don't fix it. 75If Judd and Sam can do it,
so can I. 76Grandma Kenya's new cell phone
package totally rules! 77Two bracelets and two necklaces?
That'll be $20 and your manhood. 78What Jeffrey Sachs would proclaim if he spent all day sitting on his tuchus. 79The elusive fall season... 80Kenneth Pollack gets no respect. 81900 is the new 300. 82That's affirmative. Or, at least, it ought to be. 83Where's the outrage? 84Saddam Husseing - not a good person. 85Headaches call for leeches on the temples. 86Less than nine months behind schedule
and OK by me. 87We may not know all the words,
but we know when it's done wrong. 88Nephrons. And Frank Ghery.
You make the call. 89All these activist legislatures are enough to make you miss Samuel Alito. 90See it again, for the 90th time. 91A Seventh Quarter Two-fer. 92The man they called Body Love. 93Five years old is far too old for a federal law. 94Being Very Professional 95Not a single loaf has left the building
for over a decade. 96An Absentee article. 97You're less than nothing.
You're dirt. 98Get down to the basics.
The basic basics. 99You can almost understand
why Britney shaved her head. 100April's coming.
Here's what's in store. 101The coolest thing ever. I think. 102Not only are we going to grow mangoes, but we'll sell them, too. 103Famous for being famous. Just like Paris Hilton, but less trashy. 104Fourth Quarterly Reviews bring spring
showers and 90ways anniversaries. 105There's a new bunny in town. Just in time for Easter.
106Dream small. 107If Hillside won, then I was Truckzilla. 108Disco boys on bicycles.
Front Lawns Like Waterbeds
Carter Romansky
By the time it reaches New Orleans, the Mississippi River is actually made up of the Illinois, the Missouri, the Ohio, and the Arkansas Rivers. It has drained more than 41% of the Lower 48 United States and collected water from New York to Idaho, from Texas to Alberta. With this water comes a little bit of almost everything else inside those boundaries -- animals, plants, bacteria, industrial waste, the Appalachian Mountains, everything. It is this last category, that of land itself, that has been most important in shaping the life of the American South.
In fact, both the Rockies and the Appalachians are washing down river and into the Delta. So are small amounts of pretty much every backyard, barnyard, courtyard and shipyard in the Mississippi River Basin. In the centuries before European settlement of the area, the effect of this movement was a net positive for the guys on team Land of the Gulf Coast League. The whole process was rather like an English fairytale: the River would steal from the altitude-rich Northern latitudes and give to the altitude-poor Southern ones. Over the eons and through periodic floods, Nature redistributed this land to form much of the states we now call Louisiana and Mississippi.
From the point of view of sedentary America, the problem with real estate that depends on rivers and floods for its existence is two-fold: first, unless you want to keep getting out of the water's way, your stuff needs to get wet from time to time. And second, land made up of unconsolidated sediment tends not to stay that way for very long. The ground creaks and sinks and cracks and settles until it is dense enough to support itself.
As far back as the 17th century, Europeans were piling up dirt along side the Mississippi River to keep it from getting into their stuff. All this piling up got a significant boost when slavery came to the Deep South, another boost when throngs of cheap immigrant laborers arrived from Europe and Asia, and one final boost when the Army Corps of Engineers set up camp at a place called Old River.
Before we started walling it in, the Mississippi was extremely porous along its banks, and water escaped along every mile of the River. Even at relatively low water, the River would leak out into the surrounding country. That's why Louisiana is short and wide, not long and narrow. But since the Corps got down to work, in the two-thousand-odd miles it travels from its source in Minnesota's Lake Itasca to the Gulf of Mexico, the Mississippi River does not leave its banks naturally until Bayou Baptiste Collette, sixty miles below New Orleans. The Corps' system of levees, dams and locks has rendered the River (with some very notable exceptions) so regular and predictable that it has become the major commercial highway into the vast American heartland. A waterway that over geological time has wandered hundreds of miles to the east, west and back again more than once, now travels as straight and true as Interstate 95.
As General Thomas Sands of the Corps points out, this control has made possible a vast and complex civilization in lands that were once bottomless swamps. "In most water resource stories," he told John McPhee in 1989, "you can identify two sides. Here there are many more. The crawfishermen and the shrimper come up within five minutes asking for opposite things.... Navigation interests say, 'The water is too low. Don't take more away....' Municipal interests say 'Keep the water high or you'll increase saltwater intrusion....' Farmers say, 'Get the water off us quicker," but folks downstream don't want it quicker. As water levels go up, we divert some fresh water into marshes, because the marshes need it for the nutrients and the sedimentation, but oyster fishermen complain. They all complain except the ones who have seed-oyster beds, which are destroyed by excessive salinity. The variety of competing influences is phenomenal." This is to say nothing of the different industries -- oil, plastics, automotive, chemical, paper, mining and dozens of other heavy lifters -- that depend on the River.
While this long-term domestication of the River -- which began in earnest during the late 1920s -- has done much for the economic vitality of its watershed, it has stopped the process of land creation dead in its tracks. Because the land can no longer replenish itself through periodic flooding, the process of subsidence through which this year's dirt settles into the cracks left by last year's now proceeds without its semi-annual top dressing. As a result, the whole operation is literally sinking. And it has been for a while.
As vessels pass through New Orleans on the River, they travel more like blimps than ships with respect to the residents of the city. Even on the relatively high ground of the Superdome, one must look up to see the bottom of their respective hulls. Somewhere around half of New Orleans now lies below sea level, and all of it is below the level of the River. The city is, in essence, a giant bathtub, walled and sealed by a hundreds of miles of levees and floodwalls. But unlike most bathtubs, you can't just pull the plug on this one: any water that falls on the city (whether from the sky or through a breech in the levee system) has to be either pumped out or evaporate on its own.
Pumping from one area, however, makes the sinking worse in other areas. Many of the city's suburbs are located in St. Bernard Parish, which, even before hurricane Katrina, was two percent solid ground, eighteen percent wetland and eighty percent water. Rather than watering the lawn, the suburbanites of St. Bernard Parish buy truckloads of dirt to fill the low spots in the yard. Jumping up and down on some lawns can shake the rest of the neighborhood like a bowl full of Jello or a giant waterbed.
As the land continues to sink, the ocean encroaches on the coast. A hundred years from now, Plaquemines Parish and Terrebonne Parish will be lost to the sea. Each year, the state surrenders more than 50 square miles of land, whereas before the levees, the state added land at roughly that rate. The wetlands that disappear take with them essential buffering capacity against storms and surges. A mile of marsh eliminates about an inch of storm surge. Thirty miles is enough to make the difference between levees holding and levees breaking.
The engineering feats that once made human economic life possible in the bayou have now made it extremely tenuous. The arms race between man and nature is one that most people outside of the Corps feel we cannot win. But the next question -- that of what exactly we will be left with if we do win -- has been absent from the debate. The walled city went out of style with Joshua, until we brought it back through our settlement of the Delta.
We are all connected to New Orleans in a way. The water from Lake Pontchartrain that poured into the city last Tuesday fell here in Chicago. It fell in Pittsburgh. And it fell in Asheville and Casper and Jackson and Cleveland. When we start manipulating ecosystems on such an enormous scale, we start making billion dollar tradeoffs. We spend billions of dollars to make it easier for the oil companies and plastic companies and chemical companies of the lower Mississippi Basin to deliver products to consumers of the upper Basin. But we also set ourselves up to spend billions on the repair of communities whose livelihood depends on our engineering feats never once surrendering to the most powerful forces on earth. And as we saw during the evacuation, the people with the most riding on this latter bet are poor African Americans. It's an intricate web we've woven.