90ways - Criticism

Dear Mr. Merrill,

Thank you again for participating in our study. As I've said, there's no guarantee that osioxipropine (OPP) will offer a cure for your obsessive-compulsive behavior. We are very hopeful and this study will go a long way to proving the drug's effectiveness and making it available to everyone suffering form your discomfort. I've attached directions to the hospital. I will see you tomorrow and we'll get you on-drug.

Sandra Greer

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Mr. Merrill,

Glad to hear you're excited. I do have a lot of faith in the drug and our research team. By the way, though, I am not a doctor. I'm a nurse practitioner. Dr. Laura Hood is heading this study. You'll probably meet her at some point.

Also, I can get you some surgical gloves. Hopefully, in a few months you won't want them anymore. (Have you tried food prep gloves? I've heard they're much better for people with hygiene concerns. Easy to take on and off.)

And, yes, we've all seen that movie and agree it's not a very accurate depiction. We do not, as a rule, prescribe lap dogs, gay friends and younger women as a cure for your condition. You have to admire his performance, though. At least he's not phoning it in like DeNiro.

Sandra

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Judson,

No, you're right. Sorry to offend. Raging Bull is excellent. But that's sort of my point... made in '80...

Sandra

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Judson,

One of our other participants has mentioned some hair loss. In her case, it sounds pretty extreme. Noticed anything like that?

Sandra

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Judson,

In general, friend's advice, while well intentioned, is not medically sound. I think I understand his point that wiping your hands with a clean towel instead of washing them all the time might be more psychologically satisfying, but I think of more significance is the fact that you are open to these suggestions. OPP taking effect? As for the fingernail bleeding, that is a known side effect, so it is up to you whether or not you want to continue. Let me know. If it really is as prevalent as you say, you may want to stock up on those food prep gloves. (Glad to hear they're helpful ;))

...Well, shit, now that smiley face looks a lot like it has a double chin.

Sandra

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Mr. Merrill,

While the FDA is being kind of a bitch about human testing these days, let me assure you that we do not operate outside the law.

Congratulations on not showering.

Sandra Greer

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Judson,

No. You are diseased. Stay on-drug. I'm sure the garbage man does appreciate the triple bagging and neatly stacked refuse but I caution you against taking his advice as anything other than self-interested propaganda. His cousin being pre-med does not qualify him to speak to your symptoms. OCD is NOT an "elaborate form of being polite."

Sandy

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Judson,

While I am glad to hear that your compulsions are ebbing, I would recommend basic hygiene. Especially since it sounds like the fingernails are still giving you some trouble. Bloodstains, unwashed dishes and bathrooms without proper plumbing are all health hazards. Remember, OPP is designed to make you healthier. Be safe and be in touch.

Sandra

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Judson,

I found your last email to be a bit disturbing. Remember, drug trials are, by definition, risky, as you acknowledged when you signed your consent form. OPP is not, at this date, conclusiviely proven as a safe, effective medication. Of course, we are encouraged by the decrease in your obsessive-compulsive symptoms. Likewise, I applaud your enthusiasm for closing all emails with "so alive".

I could take issue, however, with your contention that your new condition is an improvement over your old one. I grant that you were indeed very prone to bad jokes about the unlikelihood of your forgetting to take your pills. But you were a clean and unobjectionable young man. I'm sure intimacy with you and your freakish need to repeat everyday hygienic and tasks would have been incredibly grating. I don't doubt that you did live in a "cocoon of deafening loneliness". But you did not stink to be around and you were willing to wear clothes. Look at yourself. From that blurry, cell-phone picture you emailed me, I would say you are still a long way from healthy.

All that being said, I talked to Dr. Wood and she said that, yes, at the numbers you mentioned she can renew your prescription. She will email you her contact information and bank routing numbers soon.

Sandra Greer

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Judson,

The study was recently unblinded and I learned that you were randomized to placebo.

Best, Sandra