Criticism. Essay. Fiction. Science. Weather.
1"Mark it 8, Dude." Get it?
Plus, fake facts are for sissies. 2The reality of the unreal
and the art of chewing. 3Getting interrogative with the Dark Continent
and ants are the Internet's idol. 4The author displays his clothes in piles on his bedroom floor. And 1,000,000 Rhode Islanders can't be wrong. 5One size counterfeits all, plus there's a run on limes and the movies don't talk good no more. 6The sweet and no-so-sweet of time travel
and the rigors of uncancellation. 7Personal Parties and Friend Finders considered 8Gamers of the world unite too much
and the new Star Wars scores. 9This week: one guaranteed way
to make yourself more famous. 10Awkward and tacky journalism in celebration of journalism. Plus, individuality now more expensive. 11There are balls in your head
and buds in your heart. 12The upsides of federal incorporation.
The downsides of shoddy adevertising. 13The first 90ways Quaterly Review begins!
1, 2, 3 pieces of Criticism! 14Not being able to look away from
bad grammar and junk material but still LMFAO. 15Spam can be fun if you don't
mind the corporate pimping. 16Some movies go Direct-To-Video.
We feel their pain. 17What the American media doesn't
want you to know about the Tour. 18Dumbing down The Honeymooners for
the preschool set; plus, pain as upper. 19It's 2005. Do you know what your
building's ecological ethic is? 20That building is whispering
ethical nothings in your ear. 21These movies will never know the
warm embrace of a projector lamp. Direct-to-video reviews return! 22The English language is growing & 90ways is on the case.
Neologisms Spoken Here. 23The American frontier is back and ugly as ever:
Here comes Sheriff Privatization. 24When making a British book into a British movie, it's all about the British, no matter what galaxy you're in. 25Condi bites the big one, Apple bites Condi, or Apple just bites. Plus, all the news that's packaged poorly. 26The Second Quarterly Review cometh... 27The rap album based on [adult swim]
has already been leaked. 28The road to Blockbuster is paved with good intentions: Direct-to-Video reviews are back! 29The preschool set belongs inside the lines
and the rain belongs in It. 30They're what everyone's talking with:
Neologisms Spoken Here. 31What time is it?
It's Standard Candy Time. 32Transportation is overrated.
And underrated. 3390ways' investigators go into the field.
And are vaguely saddened. 34See it again, whether you want to or not.
Picture this, in spite of yourself. 35Old comedians don't die,
they just get taken seriously. 36Pro: It's a 90ways debate.
Con: Both sides are just so salient. 37As long as Brokeback Mountain is sold out, we'll keep giving you Direct-to-DVD Reviews... 38At least we can all agree those people who say "Happy Christmas" are insane. 39The Third Quarterly Review
is ringing out the old year! 40New words for the new year. 41False starts and happy endings.
There's value in dead-ends. 4290ways has a confession to make.
We made up our history, too. 43Bringing you the latest from the world of dissembling: 90ways inaugurates the Hoax Report. 44It ain't about the facts, ma'am.
It's about the truth. 45Oscar nominations have been handed out. Direct-to-DVD movies snubbed again. 46What are the 90 points of it all? 47Spring: new growth, redemption,
Spring Traning. 48Technological advances notwithstanding, there's a whole new kind of static over the 6 o'clock news. 49O'Reilly's on the warpath.
The Chinese are not. 50The Hoax Report returns. And Canada beats Team USA. (That last part's actually true.) 51There's a lot packed into that intro and we feel no need to approach it in an organized manner. 52It's a surprise;
that's why you should have seen it coming. 53It's our party and we'll cry if we want to. 54Now that big, gothic banner looks positively antique. Plus, who cares about which cares about baseball. 55Being proud of Junior and bored in June. 56Every time I hear that song, I see a Cornell alum hitting a home run. 57What do heroin and Christian prayer have in common? They both star in the Direct-to-DVD finale! 58The cutting room floor in the desert.
The recording studio at first base. 59Tinted contact lenses and poorly delivered jokes. Foolproof. 60If you can't make a real quick 70 mill, how else do you justify a $125 million budget? 61Landmark case of 2006:
Orchestra v. Organ. 6290ways is interested in the words here, too. 63Everything in Criticism today is not quite right. 64Sports Utility Vehicles. Sort Of.
Sports. Golf, anyway.
65It's our Second Annual First Quarterly Review! 66Behold: The return of new word reviews. 67Bringing global warming in from the cold,
one dollar at a time. 68Don't believe the zinc industry's hype. 69It's crazy on the street.
It's best-selling on the teevee.
70Still crabbing about lost CD revenue?
Time to learn to shake your new moneymaker. 71Thrown into a plane.
With snakes. 72Space and Worlds and
snakes on planes. 73One giant vehicle is for war,
the other is for one day sales. 74It's all laid out for you.
From the numbing consumerism to the noble freedom. 75Sure the natural majesty was great,
but how about that Motel 8? 76One of life's great mysteries:
An Arby's in Mountain Time. 77Fall teevee is upon us.
Maybe some of it won't suck. 7852 + 26 = 78.
One and a half years of Ways. 79The smell of pigskin is in the autumn air. 80Someone needs to speak up in the name of common sense. 81New words are all around us.
Neologisms Spoken Here. 82What Dallas is now to someone who never knew it before: The Nostalgia Watch. 83Oh. The Horror.
A special Halloween installment of The Hoax Report. 84It was awful.
WomenAndChildren awful. 85It's like Carrie, but even better.
And somehow that became a great movie. 86He's in the corner.
And he wants to help you sleep. 87Up in the air. It's a bird. It's a hot-air balloon.
It's the 90ways Hoax Report! 88Tearing through the sentimentality and the water-colored memories: It's the Nostalgia Watch. 89Of all the Anabaptists in all the world... 90It's the week we've all been waiting for. 91We're reviewing the quarter to ring in the new year. 92Ringing it in is a burden we all carry. 93Am I my brother's keeper? 94This is all true. 95Notes to Notes.
Sometimes ears taste better than pens. 96Neologisms Spoken Here.
New words created through misappropriation. 97The lies of the diamond dealers. 98Crime, punishment, and the bits in between. 99Same name.
Different albums. 100All the forensics in the world can't
turn up any evidence of character. 101What makes America great
and not so great. 102Fanboy hand-wringing. Shocking. 103Panic in the streets,
Monsignor style. 104It's our second anniversary.
Break out the cotton. 105He kills for all the right reasons. 106The World's Cheese Imagination is within our grasp... if only. 107It's never an easy choice. 108Just give me one thing I can play for.
From the British slang for buttocks and the Western compulsion to tack a "ster" onto a word to finish it.
Bumsters are low-cut pants, essentially hip-huggers. The term "hip-hugger" went out of vogue recently due to the fact that "hug" implies emotional involvement (too needy, even for denim) and hips are no longer considered a good thing. Also, the word "bumster" indicates a focus different from the earlier hip-huggers: the buttocks, or, specifically, the top of the butt crack called the butt-cleavage.
As Desmond Morris stated, breast cleavage is simply a false buttocks, up higher than the real buttocks so that one doesn't get confused and put one's pants over one's head. With the bumsters new focus on butt-cleavage within the society of the naked ape, push-up brassieres will have to compete aggressively to bring attention back to the chest. However, the term "push-up" implies physical effort, which might be at odds with the slacker generation. A new term must be found for that which lifts, separates, and otherwise deforms a woman's bosom.
Might I suggest "mamster"?
An extension of the newly-minted root term "blog" (itself a contraction of the "weblog") which describes, in the broadest sense, the world ('sphere') of those who blog (the "bloggers"), i.e. those who post their personalised reportings/musings/opinions on small slices of private space on the World Wide Web and hope others will read.
It is just as well that this term was coined, to address a real need to describe the voluminous activity being indulged in by those who blog, the bloggers, and the virtual space they inhabit. Of course, it tries to convey the idea of a separate and distinct zone, nay, even a world that is the domain of the bloggers. Also implied are suggestions of a distinct etiquette and form governing this particular sphere. But, very importantly it conveys a sense that this is a space of some importance, with its own airwaves and hubbub, its own angst and free-minded thinking -- a whole new universe with its own lifeforms with their own diverse activities.
Of particular note would be that this term recognizes this republic of independent thinkers who hitherto might not have access to traditional media, which are controlled by large conglomerates, with which to proliferate their opinions and thoughts. But, as denizens of the blogosphere, they are able to find a channel of expression which is not considered frivolous and even, increasingly, is being taken seriously.
A hijacked suffix denoting the primary importance or core nature of the word preceding it. Descended from the American compulsion to define the world as they define themselves: "All about me."
Like human knowledge in general and the greenhouse effect in particular, the English language is changing at an ever-accelerating rate that guarantees, at the very least, an unrecognizable landscape (in this case, wordscape) just a few generations hence. Nanotechnology is upon us, the glaciers are melting, the sky is falling, and we have developed the ability to construct entire species of words from mere suffixes.
-Centric is the most egregious example. No longer reserved for the red-hatted ladies clutching afternoon stemware, -centric has moved beyond our beloved ec-centric to include such overstuffed new-biz terms as consumer-centric, business-centric, linear-centric (a geometric impossibility), culture-centric, the dreary list is endless. And, in all cases, these -centricities have supplanted perfectly descriptive adjectives that are entitled to journeyman status. Fact is, the use of -centric is designed to provide the writer or speaker with a cloak of mystery and newfound perspective. I immediately think, "I'd best determine if this word comes complete with definition and work it into the next available PowerPoint presentation."
The etymological future of -centric is uncertain. Its natural path would be a transition from suffix to commonly recognized adjective, but first it's got to go through the evolutionary process of losing its tail -- also a natural path, which took homo sapiens several thousands of years.
From the Kentish verb To Chav meaning to steal or appropriate, now used as noun referring to "poor white trash" living in counties of southern England.
Aged between 14 and 18, Chavs all seem to dress the same, as if in a tribal way, to be both a group together and to isolate themselves from the other people around them.
Chavs share a taste for Burberry baseball caps, shiny tracksuits and expensive sneakers, worn with a white wife-beater vest under puffy, hooded jackets. In summer shirts are discarded as skinny white boys with crew-cuts waddle aggressively through shopping malls and precincts across the land, showing their undernourished torsos to young members of their clan, at the same time offending old ladies with their bare teenage physiques. Beer cans are gripped in hands as cigarettes nestle between their fingers. They hawk and spit on the ground. When a group of Chavs is stationary for a time, be it in a bus station or by a fast-food restaurant, their lumps of spit accumulate to form a nauseating mine-field.
Occasionally swear words gush forth, often directed at people trying to get past the Chavs or at bus drivers/mothers with buggies/people on their way to work; all of whom conflict with the Chavs' nihilistic and directionless hanging about in public places.
Chavs stay on foot, prowling and occupying public areas, until they are old enough to qualify for a moped or car license.
The way of the Chav is a growing lifestyle trend, and they are increasing in number. The make-up of British society and its people is changing, and the Middle Classes are outraged at the erosion of the "traditional values" of work, family and respect. Chavs will one day be the new majority in British Society. At the moment, "Chav" is a term of vindictive derision. Yet, the balance of society is tipping and the Chav may become the norm in British towns and cities. Already, Chav fashion is entering the mainstream. Hip journalists and pop stars are claiming affiliations to this perceived underclass.
In time, they will flourish, and the term Chav will no longer be a negative one, but a name of pride and acceptance.