If I asked to see your iPod, would you let me? Would you relinquish, if only for a moment, your audio diary and allow me to click my way through its contents, measuring your worth by the merit of your music? Unlike a portable compact disc player or the now exotically retro Walkman, the iPod is a mobile catalogue of your tunes collection and a testament to your aural taste. So make no mistake, when you lend this little gadget to a friend or acquaintance, you will be judged. What's more, you may even find yourself the victim of a musical mugging and thus the subject of the contemptible crook's assaying eyes. And while some of us may be blessed with the confidence to permit full disclosure, there are many of us who, next to cataloguing its contents in code, struggle to keep our tunes to ourselves.

As an example of the former type, note the oh-so-newsworthy item by presidential press pal Elisabeth Bumiller of the NY Times, dedicated to listing top picks on Pres. Bush's iPod. Alas, curiosity killed this cat, and I took a look. As I suspected, an array of country and classic rock was laid before me, though I secretly harbored a desire to see Olivia Newton John's aerobitastic "Physical" make it on to his work-out playlist. Of course, such suggestive sounds would never make the cut, as, have no doubt, some PR monkey was hired to provide just the right tracks to reflect on the wholesomely mannish character of our nation's leader. A dash of Van Morrison here, a sprinkle of Alan Jackson there, some Fogerty to endear him to the elite northeastern liberals -- you get the idea. It was a labored effort, to be sure, one intended to speak volumes of the president's character.

But beyond the press clippings, the average civilian's iPod is not a handy public relations device, but rather a personal gadget that keeps us company in public. A recent article detailing the new wave of iPod thefts relates the deep attachment we've developed to our auditory companions, and the amputational sense of loss we feel when they've been pried from our palms or picked from our unguarded pockets. And rightly so. As a victim of an iPod pilfering I'd feel violated, as if a stranger had taken a periscope to my ear and peered inside my brain. How is the mp3 mugger supposed to know that a healthy dose of irony comes with many of my selections? How can she know that I had my tongue planted firmly in cheek when I put the Pinky and the Brain theme song at the top and "I Want It Now" from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the bottom of my World Domination playlist? It seems there's really no way getting around the critical eyes of bandits and rogues scrutinizing my songs and the soundtracks to my life. But I can at least put a halt to the drive-by judging committed by newly-met associates and contacts: when they ask to see my iPod, I just say No!

In early May, the Daily News reported that Alex Rodriguez, the New York Yankees' trophy third baseman, has been seeing a psychiatrist for years and that it helps him keep a mental edge. The reason for going public with this information, A-Rod said, was to encourage others to seek counseling.

Some point to A-Rod's therapy as an explanation for his apparent ability to play the way he's playing this year, despite having played the way he played last year. Maybe a clear mind alleviated some of the pressure inherent in being a disappointment in a new home. Last season, he hit .286, knocked just 36 homeruns, and collected 106 RBI. Those are okay numbers, but they're not best-player-in-the-game numbers. They're his worst since 1996. This year, he's in the top five in batting average and RBI and leads the league in homers with 19 (already), including the 400th of his career. He's playing at roughly the level expected of him.

During the Yankees May 29th 7-2 loss against the Red Sox, ESPN announcers Joe Morgan and Jon Miller stressed that few of the issues A-Rod spoke about with his therapist are baseball related. 80-90% of his problems, they said, were personal. Interestingly, many Yankees fans have recently spent 80-90% of their time with therapists talking about non-personal issues: baseball and A-Rod issues.

Despite Rodriguez's performance this year, his team is in fourth place in the AL East. Their winning percentage is well below .500. The Yankees who -- since 1996 -- have been expected to be the best all the time, haven't won a World Series in nearly half a decade. They're still perceived not only as the team to beat, but also as the team to hate.

The biggest source of grief for Yankees fans, though, is, perhaps still the A-Rod acquisition. No matter how he's performing now -- when the team is playing terribly -- some fans remain conflicted about his Yankeehood.

What really hurts Yankees fans is that the Yankees, in getting A-Rod, did what they're always being accused of doing: purchasing the best talent and the biggest stars in the most Machiavellian way possible. Normally, though, when the Yankees are accused of unsportsman-like conduct in the business world, fans can point out that not only would other teams do the same thing if they had the deep pockets (look at the Red Sox), but that the method is successful. They hate to hear that they're buying wins, and they grimace when it happens, but rings are rings. Dealing with the dichotomy can be troublesome, but the sweetness of being the best team outweighs all, no?

The whole idea of Rodriguez as a Yankee, though, was a failure last year. This season, Yankees fans are left with all the hang-ups of cheering for Goliath, but none of the perks. Nobody is more emblematic of that painful dynamic than red-hot A-Rod. With that in mind, no matter how well he performs, can the fans ever fully embrace him? Maybe the real question is, with A-Rod offering them a plug, are New York's psychiatrists prepared for the wave of new clientele that's sure to come knocking this summer? For fans, therapy may be the only way to cope with the Yankees' split personality.

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